If I asked you to complete the sentence “A complaint is …” I can imagine that very few of you would have anything positive to say. Responses would range from time consuming to tedious to annoying. We often view complaints as a waste of time, a personal attack on us/our business, or even a ruse for getting a refund with the threat of a one-star review if we don’t comply.

Presented with a complaint, whether that be in writing, on the phone or face to face, I doubt that your first response is to welcome it and thank the person for complaining! Your bride could be talking about alteration/cancellation costs, straps or bustle loops breaking, buttons popping off, or COVID-19 requirements such as mask wearing and guest numbers…the list goes on. Your first response is likely to be defensive and possibly a tad interrogational whilst frantically checking paperwork to see whether your bride has paid her balance, signed the release form for her dress, or received her “New Normal” e-mail. An apology might be given but many of us think that by saying sorry we’re admitting that we were wrong and run the risk of a compensation claim.

Why don’t we welcome complaints?

Complaining has never had a positive meaning. It comes from the Latin verb plangere which originally meant “to hit”. Today a complaint is the utterance of pain, displeasure, or annoyance and, in legal terms, it is a formal charge or accusation. No wonder no one likes to receive complaints. We see this as a bride daring to tell us how to run our business even after we have bent over backwards to get a gown in with an incredibly short lead time and gone the extra mile to get it fitted. It’s almost as bad as someone sitting down to a dinner you prepared and wrinkling their nose.

Given the negativity around complaints you’re now going to think that I’m mad when I suggest that we should welcome complaints as free feedback. You’re going to think I’m even crazier when I say that when you receive a complaint you should respond with a thank you. Yes, I’m suggesting that we view all complaints as gifts and not as problems.

Where does this idea that complaints are gifts originate?

Back in 1996, Janelle Barlow of TMI (Global Learning and Training Consultancy) wrote the first edition of ‘A Complaint Is a Gift’ and introduced the revolutionary notion that customer complaints are not annoyances to be dodged, denied, or buried, but are instead valuable pieces of feedback and free market research.

What are complaints?

In simple terms complaints are statements about expectations that have not been met. They are also, and perhaps more importantly, opportunities for us to reconnect with our customers by fixing a service or product breakdown. In this way, complaints are gifts customers give to businesses. Everyone will benefit from carefully opening these packages and seeing what is inside.